The Audacity of Authenticity! Post #1

Welcome everyone!

I'm so excited to be spending the next few weeks here at PNN!

I love the conversations, storytelling, and sharing that happens on this site, so I thought it might be the perfect place to launch an authenticity journey.

2007 was my breakdown/break-through year. My therapist called it a spiritual awakening (which sounds so much better). I think we were both right and I'm even starting to wonder if you can have one without the other.

The stars were perfectly aligned for a breakdown: I had just given up flour and sugar, I was in complete burnout from my work, and I was right on the cusp of my midlife unraveling.

And, to make matters more complicated, I was feeling absolutely betrayed by my own research.

After years of studying shame, vulnerability, and empathy, I realized that I had all the data I needed to answer an even bigger question, like, "How are truly joyful and resilient people living?"

I had collect thousands of stories from men and women around the country and their stories held the answer to this critically important question. As I started analyzing my data I hoped with all of my heart that my findings would match how I was living. I wanted confirmation that I was doing everything "right."

There was no confirmation. In fact, it was a painful wake-up call. I was very stuck in perfecting, performing, and pleasing. I wasn't fully using my gifts. What I found was a profoundly transformational experience for me - personally and professionally.  

Men and women who are living joyful, engaged, and resilient lives are constantly cultivating three things:

Authenticity

A Sense of Love & Belonging

A Resilient Spirit

As I searched through my data, I found 15 guideposts that these men and women use for their journey - a way of living that I call the Wholehearted Journey.

I'm working on a book right now that is going to be about this journey and the 15 Guideposts. It's called, "The Gifts of Imperfection: Letting Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are." It comes out in May 2010 and I'm really excited!

For our journey here on PNN, I thought we could focus on the idea of Authenticity. I developed a definition for authenticity based on my research. It's the definition you see above. (I'm still figuring out this system) I'll try to get into this post when I can!).

There's a lot to it and I'd like to spend the next 5 weeks unpacking it and exploring what it all means and how we can work together to practice authenticity.

I'll post once a week and leave questions and prompts. We can have conversations in the comments and work through it together.

This week I want to start with the idea that authenticity is a practice. Before I started doing my research I always thought of people as authentic or inauthentic. Authenticity was simply a quality that you had or that you were lacking. I think that's the way most of us use the term: "She's a very authentic person."

But as I started immersing myself in the research and doing my own "personal work," I realized that, like many desirable ways of being, authenticity is not something you have or don't have, it's a practice, a conscious choice of how we want to live.

For this journey, I think it would be helpful if we start by picking an area in our lives where we'd like to practice more authenticity. Maybe at home or work? With certain friends? Play groups? On-line?

Also, are there areas where you feel very comfortable practicing authenticity? Areas where you feel especially comfortable in your own skin? Sometimes identifying those areas is a hopeful place to start. 

Authenticity is something that we have to work toward everyday. Trust me, even though I know plenty about authenticity and it's something I work toward, if I am full of self-doubt or shame, I can quickly be anybody you need me to be.

For me, I'm good at practicing authenticity in my career. I'm very real at work (in the classroom, presenting, writing, etc). My struggle is more around other moms at my kids' schools. This is where I have the tendency to shrink or puff-up.

What about you? What would you like to focus on for this journey?

PS: If you'd like to download a printable copy of the definitions, we have two styles available on a .pdf. You can grab it here. You can also grab an authenticity badge here! If you're thinking, "Who is this person?" - you can check out my bio here and my blog here!